Why Is Heechul So Gay?

 Super Junior’s retarded bad guy Heechul reportedly kissed Sungmin, Siwon, and Jungmo(TRAX) on one of their concerts. It’s not even those “heya-how-you-doin” kiss. French kiss, yup. Using their tongues and sucking on the lips and…I’m not going to go onto any more details. Yeah, I know that something was going strange on him. Come out of the closet! There’s nothing wrong with being homosexual!

 According to a study, approximately 1 out of 11 guys is homosexual. Wow. So that means at least one person in Super Junior is gay. And Siwon’s bi I believe. Probably Sungmin too, since he seems like he’s really enjoying the kiss;I bet his girlfriend slapped him hard in the face after that incident. Man, these Suju guys are so GAY! I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but I’ve been to Korea and guys there don’t kiss other guys like that. Something’s suspicious, hmm…

 Hey, don’t go “it’s a fan service!” Yeah, what’s so wrong with being gay. You’re born hetero, they’re born homo. Nothing wrong with that, right? Gay marriage should be legalized. Californians should’ve voted no on Prop 8 so that Heechul could get married there. Oh well, we still have Massachusetts but Heechul’s pretty blond so he probably doesn’t know what the fuck Mass. is. Yeah, the only straight Suju members seem like Hankyung and Shindong. Don’t know that much about Henry and Zhoumi. Ryeowook’s going pretty gaga on Henry but he seems like he really doesn’t appreciate it. Heehee. Canadian homophobia anyone?=)

Written by SJFF
 Do not take out

5 Reasons Why Hongki Is So Stupid

Brunet from the outside, blond on the inside

Asians are supposed to be smart, right? But not all Asians are smart. In fact, in the world of K-entertainment, there are whole lot of stupid Asians than their smarter counterparts.

  But you know who the blondest Asian guy in the Kpop industry is. That’s right, FT Island’s hot, sexy, charming vocalist Lee Hongki. The Asian rocker version of Jessica Simpson. And he being dumb and clueless is just cute. Hey, I’m not criticizing him, Primadonnas. Before you scream “shut up”, I’ll here list the reasons why he’s so blond and completely cluless, in a cute way.

How do you not know her?

1. He doesn’t know who Paris Hilton is.

Alright, Paris isn’t that all super-intelligent herself (no offense), but who doesn’t know her? Even Koreans all know her. It became a huge, huge news when she visited Korea like, 2 years ago. And I’m sure that Hongki was around back then.

So why is it that Hongki went “Hmm…Who’s this girl…Madonna?” when someone showed a picture of her and asked him if he knew who she was?

 

 

 

2. He doesn’t know who George Washington is.

Believe it or not, most Koreans know who George Washington is, him being the first president of the US and all. Every Korean person who was born after the Korean War knows the story about him and the apple tree. Elementary school kids read short biography about him as soon as they reach third grade.

So why is it that Hongki went “Uh…Beethoven? Einstein?” when someone showed him the dollar and asked him if he knew whose portrait was on it?

 

"Math drives me sleepy"

3. He doesn’t know the answer to 2×7, or at least it took him a long, long time to figure it out.

All Korean kids are required to learn and memorize the multiplication table in second grade. Some passionate mothers even have their child(ren) memorize it in as early as kindergarten. Ask yourself, guys. What’s 2×7? Doesn’t the answer ‘14′ just pop out of your mouth in 1 nanosecond? \

So why did it take Hongki over 10 seconds to get the answer to 2×7? Was he using his fingers or something?
“Okay, let me count. One, two, three… I don’t know! I only have 10 fingers! What should I do!!!!!!”

 

"Hey I didn't choose to be stupid!"

4. He thinks the word “addiction” is an adjective.

Sure, you could use it as an adjective, but not when you’re using it after “but I’m…” And the original band who wrote the song is Muse. I think Matthew wrote the lyrics (correct me if I’m wrong) so he, being a native English speaker, wouldn’t have used a noun after the phrase. “But I’m addiction,” does that make sense? You should have put an article (an) in front of the word if you were to use that word in the clause anyway. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Just check out FT Island’s Time Is Running Out cover. Hongki goes “I tried to give you up, but I’m addiction.”(instead of addicted). Oh, plus, “I wanted freedom, bound and restriction.”(instead of restricted).

 

"well at least I know etiquettes, right?"

5.He always uses “percents”, instead of the percentage sign “%”.

Which indicates that he doesn’t know what this sign “%” means. When do kids in Korea learn about percentage? Usually in third(if you’re from Kangnam, the richest area in the nation) to fifth grade. So Hongki should know what “%” means, right?

So why is it that Hongki wrote “99 percents of what you’re saying are lies. That means out of 100 rumors you’re spreading, only one is true.” on the web? It sounds like he just learned the concept of mathematical percentage, considering that he doesn’t go onto decimals.

 Hongki is so stupid. And clueless. And confused. All in his own cute way. Well, his blondness is what makes him cuter after all!

 

Written by SJFF
Do not take out!

*p.s My apologies to all you smart blondies out there. I’m usually against this type of stereotyping.

EDIT: Well, y’all fake hardcore groupies who think I’m some anti-fan and whatnot have mental issues. I never said that I hated him; I never said that he didn’t really have any other talents; and in addition he’s my favorite member in FT Island, so think before you actually write something that’ll make you look like a brainless mallpunk wench.
 And what’s so wrong with the word “stupid”? Haven’t you ever called anyone stupid in your whole entire life? I think it’s cute. It’s not like he’s actually going to read this anyway. Stop acting like a fucked-up mallpunk ass because bitchy fans like you are the reasons why there’s 8,000 FT Island anti-fans in Korea alone.

Don’t You Just Hate the “Asians”?

 Before you scream “shut the fuck up racist” I want you to know that I’m Asian too(Asian American to be more precise) and that I love being an Asian. To me ASIAN stands for Amazing, Sexy, Intelligent, Amiable, and Nonpareil. But to be honest with you, I hate the  “Asians” out there (not my proud Asian sisters/brothers!). And I’m seeing more and more of them thesedays.

 Am I talking about FOBs? No, actually the opposite. I’m talking about the insecure, annoying “Asians” who think the only way to become accepted is to be racist toward their own group of people. Those who think of Asians dating other Asians as shameful creatures. Those who wish they had different facial structures and that they could change their skin color. Those who think bashing on the Asian culture will get them a VIP pass to popularity.
 Don’t you just hate them?

 There is some racism toward Asians, particularly Koreans in my area, and I’m seeing more of those “Asians” than ever. Do you want to escape racism? You’re going to have to stand up against it instead of bashing on other Asians. Guess what? You’re more racist than those bigots now, congrats! I once met this Korean girl, who wasn’t even an American citizen, who told me that I “had a FOB accent”(girl I’ve been living in the sweet ol’ Midwest for years. Of course I have a beautiful Midwestern/Asian accent!) and that she would never, ever, ever date or marry an Asian guy because all of them were nerdy and fobby. Alright, you aren’t attracted to Asians, that’s fine. But calling Asian guys “nerdy and fobby” just because they are Asians? That makes you racist like those hillbillies in white bedsheets. The only difference between you and them is that you don’t lynch people.

 And what about this? “My gawd, my parents are like, like, toh-tully Asian, so like, they won’t let me go to, like my bestie’s party!” Honey, your parents being overly strict has nothing to do with them being Asians. The problem with these Asian brats is that they won’t even talk to their parents, assuming that they won’t let them do anything because they’re Asians. And how about those kids who go around telling their equally bratty non-Asian friends, “I like, shop at, like, Abercrombie. All Asian people, like shop there. Like, totally. ” They’re so immature that they just immediately buy into the stereotypes, like this: “I’m like, so un-Asian, cuz, like, I’m like, soooo tall, and like, I listen to like Rihanna ’stead of like, Big Bang like the fobby Asian kids do, and like, I’m like, soooo bad in math. Oh, puh-lus, I’m like, dating this, like, hot white guy, not like some, nerdy Asian guy. So yeah omg I’m so un-Asian!” Please, what is your problem?

 Now how about those Asian kids who are mean to the FOBs just because they only lived here for a short time? How immature can they get? FOBs of course act like that because they don’t know that much about the American culture! They listen to Asian music because they aren’t familiar with American music! They dress like that because that’s the way they dressed back in their countries! I hope those kids would eventually learn what their immigrant ancestors had to go through. Believe it or not, we’re all FOBs unless you’re a Native American. And I don’t see Native Americans going around shouting, “Ew! We hate FOBs! Why do they listen to DBSK! Why do they have accents! Ship them back to their countries!” Oh well, being mean to the FOBs and putting down your own race of people only proves that you’re fobby too, because according to a recent book about immigration I read, that’s the first stage immigrants go through when they first come to this country. They think putting down their own group and culture will make them more Americanized, only to find out later that that method won’t work.

 Who agrees with me? Anyone else who hates those disgraceful Asians?

 Written by SJFF
 Do not take out!